I'm Happy to be Your Servant
by MirrorFlower and DarkWind
Summary: I'm happy to be your servant, until the day i die. Merlin remembers saying years after Arthur's death. He remember all the times they had, the many regrets he has. Will fate and destiny make it up to him or will he be forced to live forever in regret?M/A


**Kaliane: **Another night another my brain went nuts and just wrote this one shot. I must admit I like it as much, if not a little more, then I Remember. The emotions just seemed to flow out of me into this story. I started it with the promt for myself of I'm happy to be your servant until the day I die and went from there. I hope the emotions touch you as they touched me while reading and that you like it.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin, no matter how much I wish it.

**I'm Happy To Be Your Servant**

I'm happy to be your servant, until the day I die. I remember saying those words so long ago. I had said them to then Prince Arthur, promising now only to be his servant but also to protect him till the day I died. He did not know of that second hidden promise at the time. He had seen me as a fool and an idiot but I had hoped he was touched at my admission. That I would be his servant until I died, no one else could ever or had ever taken his place in my heart. No one ever could.

I remember the first day I saw him. I did not know how such a prat could be the Prince. I admit that I held no love for him at that moment and would have helped to kill him if not for my dislike of killing. He grew on me and it was not long that I was willing to fight for him. To protect him from all the magical and non magical harms that threatened his life. Not just his but his Father, King Uther's. Indeed I was ready for die for his royal prat. To give my life just so that his would be saved when the Questing Beast bit him. If Nimue had not betrayed our deal I would have died for him.

His servant…I was always more then that. I wasn't just his servant but his friend. We could not admit it but that is what we were but what he didn't know was that I had grown fond of him. I stood up to Morgana and Morgause for him. I knew he would be unlike his tyrant of a father. He would bring the magic back to Camelot, to the whole of England. I grew to love him; he was the other side of me, two sides of the same coin as I was repeatedly reminded. I like to think he loved me as well back in those days but I can never be sure. He loved Gwen, I know this, but he was more then willing to let her go. Let her leave him for her true love, Lancelot, no matter what pain he himself had to deal with. He only wanted their happiness.

No, he never married Gwen. They had a courtship but even Arthur was not blind or cruel. He ended it when he became King. I still remember that day. Gwen had tears in her eyes but I had never seen a more brilliant smile on her face as Arthur freed her from him. She had to have thanked him a hundred times before Lancelot was able to drag her from the room. They were both so happy…so in love that they could not see Arthur's expression. Gwen had seen me though, standing behind the King, my King and broke away from the apologizes long enough to come to my side and grasp my hands in her own before whispering to me that she could never stand in my way. That I would protect him and love him far more than she would have ever been able to. How she knew of my love for our King I never found out as she left shortly after. Leaving Arthur and me alone.

I never did admitted my love for my King and he never married. I remained his shadow for the rest of his days. Protecting him every time he road off to battle but I had also seen how he looked out the windows. The times when he seemed so lost in thought. At those times I lent my silent comfort, never asking what was on his mind but letting him know I was there for him if he ever wished to confide in me. He never did.

In the end King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table became legend. King Arthur's rule was told to be the most peaceful and it was. But every peaceful time had to end. Mordred, the young Druid boy, and Morgana returned and just as the Dragon had told me years ago Mordred brought about Arthur's death. I had been unable to protect him. I had failed my destiny. I had failed everything. I was able to take down Morgana before appearing at Arthur's side, pulling him into my arms as he lay there dying. Tears fell down my face unchecked as I tried spell after spell to heal my love…but nothing I could do would work. He was dying and I wasn't able to stop it this time.

With his last breath he asked me to protect Camelot and her people before whispering the three words I had longed to hear but feared I never would. 'I love you' he had whispered just before the last breath left his body, the blood soaking threw his cloths into the moist earth. My magic went crazy after his death, destroying the enemy's army before I completed my last duty to my King. I took him to the Isle of Avalon where his barge waited for him. The four women stood there, smiling sadly at me as they watched me gently settle Arthur on the boat, Excalibur laying on the ground next to me.

_"You know what your final task is Emrys," _one of the women, the young Morgana before the hatred had taken over, said, looking at me with pity on her face. I nodded, never taking my eyes off my King as I took up his sword, sparing only one look at it before tossing it into the lake.

I watched, unsurprised as Freya's hand appeared, grasping the sword and throwing it up three times before disappearing below the surface. Hiding the sword from any man who wished to possess it. It was forged for Arthur and Arthur alone. No other mortal had the right to wield it.

I could not stop tears or stop my guilt and regret. Arthur had said he loved me but now it was too late. Far too late for anything to happen. Arthur was dead.

_"Do not despair, Merlin. Arthur is the Once and Future King, he will be needed in the world once again and you shall meet again. Of this I am certain,"_ an older woman said, her blond hair peaking out below her hood as she turned towards me.

"_You must wait for the time, Emrys. You are immortal, you will help him when he returns," _Nimue said, her painted red lips smiling sadly at me.

_"I do not wish to live without him. He is my everything," _I admitted, whished to reach out and hold him once again but I knew that my time with him was up. At least for now. He disserved rest in Avalon and I disserved my punishment for failing to protect him.

_"Emrys, he will return to you," _a young Vivian said, taking a step towards me. _"It is up to you to be ready for him. Do not despair."_

_ "It is time to leave," _the elder one responded, bending down to gently run her hands over Arthur's aged face. The three women nodded as they got back into position. I watched, broken, as the barge sailed away, the mist taking it to the one place I would never be able to follow, the land of Peace of Rest. No it was my destiny to wait for Arthur's return alone. Always alone.

Camelot fell shortly after Arthur's death. None of us knights were surprised at that. We had tried to keep the kingdom going but without Arthur…it seemed so impossible. One young knight, Sir Constantine stepped up to the crow, not of Camelot but as his own kingdom and save England and led it to prosperity.

As for me. I wandered the Earth for many centuries. Watching the world around me change, the forests destroyed, concrete buildings and guns coming into being. It was all so different from the world I was raised…the world that I missed but time march's forward and every day I lived with the knowledge that I could have somehow changed the past. That I could have told Arthur I loved him sooner and we could have been happy.

But then, just as the three Ladies of Avalon promised the time came for Arthur to return. He was not reborn as many believe will happen but I felt the world shake just before the gates to Avalon opened in my flat and out stepped Arthur, looking as young as when we had first met before all burden of a kingdom was on his shoulder.

"_Merlin_," he had said, smiling at me, looking just as I remembered him.

"_Ar…thur_?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes as I stood still, looking at the man before me. Unwilling to believe my eyes. That he had finally returned to me.

_"Who else would it be, Idiot," _Arthur asked, smirking at me as he walked forward, the gates closing behind him. He stood just scant inch's before me, looking over me, at the no doubt strange cloths I wore, my jeans and t-shirt.

_Your time of loneliness is over, Merlin. Rejoice in the gift of his love and admit your own feelings. You both disserve to be happy, _Morgana's comforting voice sounded in my head. I could picture her smiling as she hugged me.

_But he will only leave me again once he dies, _I replied sadly, tears stinging my eyes.

_I will leave that for Arthur to explain._

_ "Merlin!" _Arthur called, snapping me out of my conversation. I looked up at him, his blue eyes boring into my, as if searching my very soul for something.

_"Arthur…is it…is it truly you?"_ I asked, fearing that it was all just a dream, no matter what Morgana said.

_"It's me, Merlin. I'm sorry for leaving you as I did before. Trust me that I didn't want to," _He said, smiling gently at me as he held out his arms. That was all the initiative I needed as I fell into his arms, sobbing into his cloths.

"_Arthur, I love you…I love you so much Arthur," _I sobbed, holding him closer, fearing that if I let go he would disappear and I would be alone once again.

"_I love you as well Merlin as I know you know. I remember telling you before I…died," _Arthur said, pulling back just a bit to look into my face. _"I will never leave you again." _

_ "You cannot promise that, Arthur," _I said, pulling back and out of his arms as I paced the room. Why did they bring him back to me if he was just going to leave me again? _"You will eave me for Avalon once again and I will be alone."_

_ "I will never leave you, Merlin. The gods of the old religion gave me the gift of immortality. They said you have suffered enough. I will never leave you again," _Arthur had said, pulling me back into his arms before kissing me.

I look back on that day now, many tears later and smile. It was the day my king, my friend, my master but most importantly my love had returned to me and my endless days of loneliness ended.

"Merlin, are you thinking of the past yet again?" Arthur asked, a fond smile on his face as he leaned over me, kissing me gently.

"No, I am just thanking everything that brought you back to me," I said, smiling as he pulled me up to my feet. Even now, years later he's smile still affected me. "That I don't have to be alone."

"You will never be alone, Merlin. You promised to be my servant until the day you died…but I think I would like to renew that vow. You must promise me to remain by my side as my friend, magician and lover until the end of time," Arthur said, his hands wrapping around my waste, our foreheads pressed together.

"Arthur, I will always be by your side, I will never leave you until the day I die," I said, smiling up at him as he ran his hands threw my hair.

"Forever then," he whispered, his eyes shining with happiness and most importantly love. I smiled back as he leaned down and sealed the deal with a kiss. We would be together forever, the old religion and the four ladies would see to it. The world needed Arthur, the Once and Future King…but more than that I needed him and he needed me. Forever.

**Kaliane: **Well I hope you liked it and remember to review!


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